My Heroes Came to Visit

I finally wanted my phone, and the first people I texted were my group of riders who saved my life. I didn't know how to start. I'd type "I'm alive" then deleted... too soon, I thought. "I'm okay," I typed, then deleted... I wanted to know how they were, not me. I was hoping they hadn't gone and done something crazy, thinking I had died. Finally, after typing and deleting a few more times, I settled on asking how everyone is. They all jumped into the conversation, yelling "Brittany!" It was a little overwhelming. I just wanted to jump through the phone right then and there and see them. They were my peace. I wanted nothing more than to see them, but I knew I had to wait.

They wanted to come visit, but I knew my mom wouldn't want to see them near me yet. In her worried and terrified mind, if they didn't exist in my life, maybe the accident wouldn't have happened. I knew if they didn't exist in my life, the accident still would have happened, but I wouldn't have been found way out in the woods, bleeding to death. I found a window to let them come and visit. I was terrified but so excited. I wanted to see them and make sure they knew I was okay, but I didn't want them to see me broken. I felt like if people saw me weak and broken, then they wouldn't want me.

First to see me was Axel and Marcus together. Axel and Marcus peeked in, saw me, and tears welled up in their eyes. You can tell they were terrified for me, and seeing me then was like a big weight off their chest. Wondering if I was dead or alive had finally been resolved. I know I only just met them a few months prior, but my very heavily medicated and high alert self needed them. I wish they had stayed for a little while, but I know they were really messed up about the whole situation. I also thought that if my mom came in and saw them, they might get in trouble.

When they left, it pulled me into reality a bit. I began to realize what was wrong with me. I became more conscious of what was going on around me. After they left, I was alone and terrified. Terrified of being broken, terrified of losing everyone, terrified I'd never get out.

You either bond or separate from people during traumatic events,

Who was the first person you would want to see if you woke up in the hospital?