Fighting PTSD

I find that all the projects I've been working on are from the day of the accident. It's easier for me to tell about the day of the accident because I don't remember most of that day. To me, it is just a story. The part of the accident/recovery that I become emotional about is the hospital stay. I get emotional and PTSD from the absolute fear I felt while there. I don't talk about it much because why would you want to talk about things that make you cry?

I am going to start talking about it here on the blog, and maybe I will be able to fight the PTSD and conquer the fear. I want to see the hospital as the place that saved me rather than the place I was trapped for over a month. To help me with the fear, I have been drawing it to look it in the eye, but maybe I should have been talking about it also.

PTSD to me is when I'm going about my business, having a good day, when all of a sudden, I'll smell a certain smell that stops me in my tracks, and I suddenly feel like I am stuck in a hospital bed again. Most of the time, smells appear, like the rubber tube I had in my nose to suck out the blood in my stomach, or the rubber tourniquet used to tie around my arm when they were taking blood samples every morning at 4 am. When I get those smells, I feel like my hands are tied to the sides of the bed, and I am stuck. Sometimes, I cannot breathe, sometimes I can't stop crying, and other times, I just sit in silence and stare into space, unable to move.

To help with fighting the PTSD, I have lotion and candles near me. If I start smelling the rubber, if I'm still able to move my arms, I grab anything scented to smell it and be able to block the other smell out. If I know I'm feeling extra emotional one day, I need to have something that smells good around. I also grab my favorite drink, and if I'm starting to taste or smell hospital-type things, I take a few sips and am able to feel better. I've made it a placebo to where I have made myself believe that if I'm feeling down, I just need to take a few sips and I will be feeling better immediately.

What do you do to fight PTSD?

Give me some tips to share!