15 Yards Downhill

I am lying in the dirt 15 yds downhill from the road as if I had woken up from sleeping comfortably lying in my bed, but still not ready to open my eyes. I hear Axel calling out to me, “Brittany! Brittany! Oh my God!” Confused and dazed, not realizing that anything was happening, I asked, “What happened?” Axel replies with “You were in a little accident, you’re gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay”. Not acknowledging that there was a wreck, and just accepting what I was being told, I asked where my husband was, to which he replied with “He's over there, he's gonna be okay, everything is gonna be okay”. I am confused and can't feel anything when everything goes blank again. It's still dark and unextroardinarily quiet. It was as if the whole world was holding its breath, waiting to see what was happening next, only a single bird chirping.

The peace is disrupted by Axel telling me to open my eyes and look at him. I open my eyes and can't keep them open, so I'm rapidly blinking. I'm getting anxious after I opened my eyes. I am feeling discomfort, and suddenly the bird that was chirping now seems like a crow yelling down at me from the trees. I see Axel there, surrounded by all the trees with the glow of the setting sun shining through the trees and around me, almost as if the rays are reaching out to hold onto me. I make note that this is a guardian angel put into my life for this very reason, because in this moment, his eyes, still wet from the tears running down his cheeks. The crow stops screaming, and it's so quiet you can hear a pen drop.

I am realizing I'm hurt badly, but I can't feel anything but discomfort. It's as if subconsciously, I know I'm dying, but I'm not all the way realizing it yet. My eyes close and are sewn shut for the rest of this memory. Everything is still again, really only hearing mumbling. I hear one of them say clearly, “This might hurt a little,” followed by a tightening feeling around my thigh. It feels as though my thigh is just being slightly squeezed, and I am able to mumble “owwy owwy”. The fear engulfs me as the memory fades out again, and as I come back into focus, I begin feeling like I am being dragged uphill on a sled with my arms folded over my chest. It was like I was in my coffin, ready for the funeral. I remember lying quiet and still, but the 911 call says I was screaming and frantic.

I really wish I remembered seeing more of what happened while I was tumbling downhill.

Do you think it is better to remember or forget what happened?